He says of Serenity--currently the best reviewed wide-release action film of 2005:
The acting is terrible, the characters have no personality and the dialogue is stuck in the setup/punchline/setup/punchline rut.
To understand the weight that we should give this scathing review, let's, well, review some of Kyle's other 2005 reviews:
He liked Batman Begins a great deal (as did I), but in the review, he admits to some unusual viewing habits for a critic: "I fell asleep in 'X-Men.' I fell asleep in 'Spider-Man.' 'Batman Begins' blew me away . . ." Maybe it's just me, but should a critic admit that he sleeps through his job? At least Serenity managed to keep him awake.
Of the Gweneth Paltrow drama Proof, based on the Pulitzer-prize winning play, he says: "'PROOF" will put a lot of viewers right back where they left off in 12th-grade calculus: asleep." Again, with the sleeping . . .
Of the well recieved Jim Jarmusch film Broken Flowers starring Bill Murray he quips: "Audiences will laugh, mainly to prove they're awake, but the humor is pretty thin." Refering, perhaps, to a defense mechanism that he uses from time to time. This review also contains the precious jem: "The film has an eye for kitschy Americana (always big in Europe, which is why the film won the Cannes Film Festival's Grand Prix — French for second prize)." It is the second-highest award given at Cannes, yes . . . and I only took two years of French, but I even I know that "Grand Prix" means "Grand Prize."
And lest you think that that last statement might have been a joke of some sort. I want to present into the evidence that our dear sweet, sleepy critic gave the Dukes of Hazzard and The Island three stars, saying that the latter was: ""[Michael Bay's] best film since The Rock."
I rest my case.
Poor guy--he just can't stay awake . . . and he has no taste. I want to be a movie critic--lots of naps, and you get to be mindlessly catty for no reason. The best thing that I can say for him is that at least he didn't like Stealth.