Oh, the irony . . .

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RCRG Bout 1 Recap

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath for my recap of the Rat City Rollergirls bout #1. The recap will probably not be as detailed as usual, as I made the mistake of sitting near the locker-room, which is a great, unobstructed view of the action--apparently the event staff and the mascots thought this too, since they stood in front of us for half the bout (shout out to Momma Cherry for making them sit down for a bit--but there's a special place in hell for Spike the Devil Dog--Someone needs to teach him to "sit"). Anyway, I won't make that mistake next time.

All bitching aside, of course the rollergirls were outstanding as always. All I can say is that the girls look pretty sharp for this early in the season, and although the scores were pretty lopsided in both bouts, I see more parity in the league this year. Some observations:

Sockit Wenches: The biggest surprise of the night had to be the Sockit Wenches' spank-down of the Throttle Rockets. Pia Mess picked up right where she left off last year--whipping by by the Throttle Rockets like they weren't even there, and I LOVE the almost-running-not-skating frenetic style of Miss Fortune. I also found myself thinking several times throughout the evening how big a blow it was to the Sockit Wenches to lose Drew Blood for much of last season--she's GOOD. The Sockit Wenches are going to cause serious problems for anyone who doesn't bring it hard this year. It they can use Jackie Hammer, Clobberin' Mame, and Shovey Chase effectively at blocker--it's going to be tough to beat them. They also pulled out a bit of little-known-rule trickey, when they took advantage of the once a game opportunity to switch the pivot and the jammer in the middle of a jam. I bet we'll be seeing more of that.

Sockit Wenches Trivia: I saw on the news the other night that one of the SW's fresh meat candidates (Hot Flash--#40 Something) is actually Miss Fortune's MOTHER. How freakin cool is that?

Throttle Rockets: I'm not to worried about the Throttle Rocket's long term prospects, and I stand by my prediction that we'll see TR and DLF in the finals this year again. TR was without the lovely and powerful Darth Skater, but their usual power jammers: Valtron 3000, Hurricane Lily, Astroglide (the list goes on an on) mostly came up empty. At least the announcers finally figured out that there are lots of sexual innuendos around Astroglide's name, though, which was refreshing and kept the bout interesting. As I mentioned there were some serious obstructed view moments for me so I could have just missed them, but where were Interplanet Janet and Dirty Little Secret? Possible rookie of the year candidate: Pris Toff.

Throttle Rockets' fashion notes:
Wins: Betty Ford Galaxy's two pairs of ripped up stockings, and the team's new star spangled warm-ups.

Loses: What's with the tank-toppy throttle rockets? Not a Judy Jetson dress in sight -- *sigh*

Grave Danger: Ok, I've been on the angry end of a few GD rollergirls for my frank comments about their not-goodness last year. This year, even though they got blown out by the DLF, I'm wondering if they could be 1000% tougher to beat once they get a chance to practice. Their "fresh meat" looks like rookie of the year material, and they are big, powerful girls. in warm ups I noticed that newbies Katrina Whip and Canuckle Sandwich, along with veterans Pam Opticon and Basket Casey (who is one of the top 5 defenders in the league), could provide a lot of air cover for the small but plucky jammers of GD. When they find the right combination to block for Femme Fatale, Bruise Lee, Tash-ya Around, etc--They'll be dangerous. Plus, Rollin' Bayou is a force to be reckoned with at jammer--she's my early favorite for rookie of the year.

Grave Danger advice of the week: Braid your hair. Lots of GD jammers have beautiful long locks. I didn't see for sure, but when Femme Fatale and an unidentified DLF staker got into it in the first half, I thought I saw some hair pulling. Best to braid.

DLF: What can I say that would add to the perfection that is DLF? Seriously, they were without Diva State, and they still cruised against a team that is much improved from last year. Burnett Down continues to play like the league MVP, jamming, playing perfect pivot, picking fights (I think Burnett and Basket Casey will be an interesting rivalry all year--kind of a Dennis Rodman v. Karl Malone thing). Kim Reaper and Hideous Braxley jammed well, and Kitty Kamikase laid some solid blocks. My girls are champions until someone takes it away (don't bet on it). Rookie of the year candidate: Ann R. Kissed (nice uniform btw).

DLF Trivia: I got a good look at Burnett Down's tattoo on her arm. You guessed it--it's a tribute to Roller Derby. Body modification--now that's dedication.

That's all til next time kiddies. TICKETS ARE ALREADY ON SALE FOR BOUT 2. Buy now.

--TinFoil Out

Politics?

Ok . . . I'd like to start this post by saying that when I log on to blogger . . . I invariably type "blooger" which invariably makes me laugh. I just thought you'd like to know :)

Anyway, on a less bloogery note (I just laughed again--pathetic really) you may have noticed that I haven't been engaging in the noble struggle to oust president Bush lately. The reasons for this are:

1. I think that everyone (ok most people) know he's full of shit now.
2. Even Republicans are trying to distance themselves from him.
3. It's not as much fun to point out the obvious

When he was up for re-election, and his approval numbers were above freezing, I thought that I needed to change some minds. Now, I'll leave it to the professionals here, here, here, here and here.

I reserve the right to resume the political stuff when the mid-term elections approach next year. For now, Mr. Bush, you're off the hook from me (although I will point out that these "straight talking" press conferences are a disaster--the man can't think on his feet people!)

--TinFoil Out

Roller Derby first bout may be sold out--Extra Tickets?

The online tickets for Saturday's RCRG bout are sold out. Their website says that some tickets may still be available by calling Concrete City Skate for in-person ticket sales at 206.782.6081. In case they are actually sold out . . . let me know if anyone has any extra tickets. I have a few friends who haven't gotten them yet.

Rat City Rollers . . .

I just got that . . .or did I? Are the Rat City Rollergirls making oblique references to the Bay City Rollers? Or is there just the odd coincidence of the string "--- CITY ROLLER" in their names? It pretty much doesn't matter because THEY'RE BACK! (No, not the Bay City Rollers), but next Saturday Night, The RCRG are back with a vengence. It's a new season, and everyone is 0-0. That is, of course, until the 2005 Champions DLF sends all the other teams to the gulag archipelago (but more on that when it actually happens. Obvious bias from sports writers is so unseemly).

Buy Tickets--March 25th--Magnuson Park Hangar 30.

I haven't seen how the lineups have changed for the coming year but look for some more balanced standings throughout the year. By the end of the year last year, everyone was playing at a pretty high level, and this year there's no learning curve. Hopefully, Grave Danger has drafted a few girls who are 6'9" 280lbs to make up for their smallishness, and similarly, I hope that the Sockit Wenches have found some consistent blocking to augment their inherent pluckiness. Still, DLF and the Throttle Rockets have to be the teams to beat. I'd love to see them repeat their epic battle in the finals last year. A lot of great personalities emerged last year, but Darth Skater v. Burnett Down has become a genuine rivalry.

Yay--Rollergirls are back!

--TinFoil Out

New Coffee Table

So, when my parents were in town we looked for some new furniture. We went to Macy's outlet and found a new coffee table on sale. We bought it, and this has (of course) caused a ripple effect that has made us re-evaluate the placement and effectiveness of our current furniture. Our first thought was "this is such a HUGE coffee table," but now we're warming up to it. Now we're headed down the end-table-new chair, etc. path.

Just thought you'd all like to know :)

--TinFoil Hat

Call girl update

I previously wrote about a strange situation in our neighborhood. For the past few months our house and our neighbors' house have occasionally been visited by surprised looking call girls. Today, I was on my way out to the store when a tall woman in a really short skirt and really high heels, walked up our driveway and asked "Are you Kevin?" I said no, and she quickly walked back to the car and drove away.

I left to go to the store and the car passed me as it came back, so I circled around got the license plate #. I find this all patently ridiculous, but the Jim Rockford in me just came out. The car then stopped, presumably to check the address and look for "Kevin's" house. I saw my neighbor outside, and screamed "Call girl!" at him. He said "Tall girl?" I said "CALL GIRL!" The amusing part is I have probably said ten words to the guy in two years, and now four of them are "Call girl" (x2)?

He ran over to the car and talked to the startled professional woman. She apparently wanted nothing to do with this situation, and she gave him "Kevin's" phone number. This should be over soon. Unless it's a payphone, I think the silly little prankster has made his last call. Someone owns this phone, and that's a pretty concrete lead. We just saw the Sheriff over at their place, and I'm anxious to hear how it comes out. My money's on some dumb neighbor kids. Anyone else care to speculate?

--TinFoil Out

Lost in Translation

I love jokes that result from bad translations. I was reading this post (via Boing Boing) and I started laughing so hard that I thought I would wake up Mikelle. It's a menu for a Japanese resturaunt that offers such delicious dishes as: "Fragrant bone in garlic with strange flavor" and "Ginger bumping milk (hot)."

For some reason, I find "bad translation" jokes irresistible. Trevor pointed out some great ones here, here, and here.

My favorite of all time was on the TV show News Radio, when Jimmy James (if you haven't seen the show, think of a less evil, bumbling Rupert Murdoch) writes a book called: Jimmy James: Capitalist Lion Tamer which is a total flop in the US, but the Japanese translation sells like crazy, prompting the publisher to issue an English version--translated back from the Japanese--which is now called Jimmy James: Macho Donkey Wrestler. The transcript of his first book talk is here. It's funnier when you see it, though . . . I'll see if I can find the video.

--TinFoil Out

Blogging to stand still

Ok . . . that headline made no sense. But I do feel like I've been running around an awful lot lately.

I conducted my first international conference call this evening--my manager said, "you can handle this one, right? "

Um--sure . . .

I left work, with plenty of time to run the call from home, got stuck in traffic on 405 forever, and made it home with 2 minutes to spare. I shut myself up in my home office, grabbed our wireless speakerphone, and got online.

All was well . . . "Hello Singapore . . . Hello Tokyo . . . Hello Beijing."

Status updates--action items--outstanding.

Then, the power goes out in Renton. Really. What are the odds? Of course, every phone we own, including the wireless speakerphone is an electricity dependant model, so I'm off the call.

Thank goodness for cell phones and 1-800 call in numbers. I was back on the phone in 2 minutes, and finished up the call. In the two hour blackout that followed I had a wonderful candlelight meal with the wife. When the power came back, I was back in email land. Technology is a harsh mistress and sometimes it's OK if she gives you a 2 hour break.

Not bad for my first full day with the new job. Meep.

--TinFoil Out

Second run with the Tablet PC

One of the advantages of working for a tech-savy university is that you generally get to try out cutting-edge technology. In 2002, I got one of the first-gen tablet PCs, and I put it through its paces. I noticed quickly that my handwriting was WAY TOO POOR to work with the tablet-pen thing, and I could find few opportunities to flip the LCD around and start working in tablet mode. Now, I'm faced with my second tablet (it doesn't seem that much has changed)--and I'm trying to see what works and what doesn't.

First, I will say that I like that it is super light (it has an external CD/DVD drive, so I guess that makes sense). But it seems like there really haven't been any innovations since 2002 (Although I will admit that they have hidden the stylus/pen so well that it took me a week to find it). The handwriting recognition is better, but still sucky. I have trouble believing that this tech wll lead to the next big thing but I guess you never know . . .

-TinFoil Out

Action!

The nice thing about Netflix is that you can rent some obscure videos that you'd never seek out in the video store. I especially like it for series television (We've seen all the HBO shows, Sopranos, Deadwood, Carnivale, Six Feet Under, etc. this way.) Mikelle found us a true jem the other day with Action. This hollywood-is-a-cesspit series follows Peter Dragon (Jay Mohr), a big-name producer as he makes a shitty movie called "Beverly Hills Gun Club" (the climax apparently involves slaughtering endangered animals) with the help of his hooker-turned-associate producer (Illeana Douglas). This is the most cynical and rauncy show I have ever seen--and apparently it ran on broadcast TV (Fox), and there are hilarious guest appearances by stars like Keanu Reeves and Selma Hyak.

I'll throw this on the pile of brilliant Fox shows that were cancelled (Firefly, Arrested Development, Family Guy). I wish it had run on HBO or Showtime--I think it would have fit better on a more "adult" network.

--TinFoil Out

Where do I want to go today?

So, it's FINALLY official. I start Monday in my new position at Microsoft. I've been a contractor there for the past year, and I was working for an onsite vendor for the eight months before that, but now, I'm proud to say, I actually work for Microsoft directly. The position is similar to my contract job (it's in the same department), but it will involve more responsiblilty, more autonomy, and more travel.

I'm really happy to have this opportunity. It seems like it's been ages since I had a job that wasn't in some way temporary (almost three years to be exact), and I'm looking forward to a little stability. Plus, I'm really excited about the possibilites. Our department develops college talent all around the world and I think there's plenty of room for interesting work in that area.

I'm off to celebrate with the dog, the cat, and the wife.

--Tinfoil Out

Ok, figure this one out . . .

There have been strange doings in our neighborhood. Some of you may recall that a couple of months ago Mikelle reported that a call girl mysteriously knocked on our door, took one look at us, and said she had the wrong house.

A silly case of a hastily written address? Honest mistake? That's what we thought, and we found it oh-so-amusing.

But wait, there's more . . .

Yesterday, our neighbors came over to explain their recent "security" issues (I wasn't here, but Mikelle met them). Apparently they've received four visits over the past few months from, you guessed it, call girls who have the wrong house. Apparently it's even different girls each time. They are totally freaked out, and have purchased an expensive new security system. They're convinced that someone is trying to "case" the neighborhood to see who's home at what time.

I am more baffled by the events. Consider:

• Wouldn't it be easier to sit in a van and watch people coming and going? The "call girl method" can't be the most efficient.
• If I were "casing" a neighborhood, I'd try not to attract attention to myself. Sending random call girls to knock on doors isn't exactly subtle.
• Mikelle asked the girl if she wanted to come in and use the phone. She said "no" and walked away without so much as looking at the interior of our house. Again--when casing, it's probably a good idea to get inside the place and evaluate the loot.
• If you were casing (I just like using that word), would you do it for almost two months? I mean, it's not exactly Ocean's Eleven here--we have a few crappy things, but no Hope Diamond or anything.
• I tend to think that this is someone's idea of a joke. And while it's a little bit funny to send call girls to suburban homes (sort of an adult upgrade to sending 100 pizzas to a friend's house in high school), but I would think that you could do it exactly once before the call girl powers that be ignore it as a prank, or send someone to break-a-you-legs.

Does anyone have any insight into why this might be happening? If this were an episode of CSI, I'd turn it off as an implausible fiction. Why is our neighborhood so weird?

--TinFoil Out

The Red Eye

About to go to the airport for the dreaded red-eye flight. It was the only way to get to Dayton in time for the awards dinner without missing 2 days of work. I don't really sleep on planes, but I'll try my damndest to see what a bit of Scotch and Benadryl can do.

I've travelled a lot less in the last few years, and my flying muscles aren't what they used to be. Rumor has it that I'll be headed to Singapore in May, Orlando in July, and god knows where after that. Better start working on travel strategies.

Wish me luck. The blog will likely be quiet this weekend, but will return Monday at its regularly scheduled time (check local listings).

--TinFoil Out

Late night sick blogging

No, not "sick" as all the young kids use it (i.e. cool x 10 but in an extreme way), actually sick. Hopefully, I'm on the downside of a flu that was most certainly brought on by excessive merry-making at the Girl Trouble Burlesque on Saturday. It was a GREAT show, and I had a hell of a time. The non-girl related highlight for me was a cameo (via video) by that famous blogger Mark , reprising his halloween persona as "Tinkerhell" in Cinderella-like tale of a floor scrubber turned spring factory worker turned burlesque performer.

You kinda had to be there.

Aclaimation of the Big Giant Cat continues. He has now been within a few feet of the pug for long periods of time, without openning any cans of whoop-ass. Of course, the pug has mostly been restrained on a harness, but we're seeing some progress here.

In other news, I'm flying to my native Dayton, OH this weekend to see my Dad get an Award for his more than 30 years of service to University of Dayton as a professor in the English Department. My parents are then flying up to Seattle for a few days the next week. I'm hoping that my work situation will be sufficently resolved by then (it should) so that I can take a day or two off to spend extra time with them.

That's all for now. Time to take NyQuil and try to drift off.

--TinFoil Out

Didn't they have a bigger one . . .?

My intrepid wifey-pants made good on her drunken rant last night and got us an as yet unnamed cat from the shelter. He is the BIGGEST CAT I HAVE EVER SEEN, but he's really sweet and inquisitive. We've briefly introduced him to Fergus (under controlled conditions) and our new giant houseguest didn't turn our pug into swiss cheese--yet. If they don't get along, it's a deal breaker, so I hope they make nice. Otherwise, we have a two-week grace period to take him back. I hope we don't have to, because he's awfully cute.

Suggestions for names?
--Tinfoil Out

Battlestar Historica

Tonight's Battlestar Galactica was outstanding, and I think it was a milestone in TV Scifi. The reason is that Ron Moore, who cut his chops as a writer for Star Trek: The Next Generation, finally faced what is the toughest standard in SciFi . . . The Wrath of Khan plot. For the uninitiated, Ricardo Montalban is Khan, the super-human genius that Captian Kirk wronged in the orignial Star Trek series (actually, Kirk was quite reasonable given that Khan tried to take over his ship and he still left Khan on a paradise planet with the woman Khan loved . . ., but still, Khan felt ill-used). Anyway, Kirk makes some mistakes. Khan outsmarts him, and Kirk is left to salvage the situation. The bottom line is: he can't. He's defeated Khan, but Khan's last revenge is to take the life of Kirk and his crew (paralelling the Kobayashi Maru test). Kirk should be defeated, but heroically, the always logical Spock sacrifices himself for everyone, and they escape.

Not in the BSG version--A great script that places all of the fuck-ups on the commander of the Battlestar Pegasus, Col. Jack Fisk, who is not equipped to command, and who falls into a Cylon trap (a la Kirk), and in a very non-Kirkian manner, Moore has him abdicate his command responsibilities to Lee Adama (imagine if Kirk had left the bridge in a tense moment and said "Chekhov, you have the con."). Fisk unexpectedly proceeds to play the Spock role and fix the ship at the cost of his own life, just in the nick of time. Ron Moore managed to turn one of the greatest Sci-fi movie memes of all time on its head. "The needs of the many, do not . . . outweigh . . . the needs of the few (or the one)" until push comes to shove and imperfect people make heroic (imperfect) decisions. A hero is one man's idiot, but even if you made the mistake, you can still save the day.

It's one of the best things Ron Moore has ever produced (with the possible exception of Carnivale), complicating "heroes" in a time when we're forced to do that in America as well. In case he wasn't facing enough, Moore also had this episode deal frankly with the issue of abortion. See if you see that featured on American Idol or CSI or any of the "flavors of the week."

For those non-geeks who don't follow this thread--I pity you. Please watch good television and look up from the drool-inducing America's top-Idol-Model-Survivor-Idiot-Jackass brand of television.

And for all of those who would like to make comparisons to Commodore Decker in the ST:TOS episode "Doomsday Machine," don't even go there. Totally different.

--TinFoil Out

Generation Y

I've had a project proposed to me at work that amounts to, "Do some research and figure out this generation Y thing" (born 1979-1994). The organization that I work for in interested in hiring employees straight from college, so it's a great question to ask. I think we have a lot of preconceived notions about them:

• They're used to having coaches, counselors, and hovering parents.
• They want immediate gratification and expect others to help them reach their goals.
• They don't respond to restrictive rules and regulations (or dress codes)
• They are facile with technology and rely heavily on blogs, MySpace, cellphones, etc.

Interesting challenge. Any thoughts?

--TinFoil Out

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

I'm still afraid to jinx my potential job opportunity by blogging about it, but there was additional progress today, and I got a handshake and a "welcome aboard" from our general manager--Looks like it will take shape after all, but I'll provide some details when it's official.

It makes me think in a more general way about life's ups and downs. I've had a pretty good year this year--before that, I had an awful 1997-1998, a pretty good 1999-2002 followed by a hellish 2003 and 2004. I guess the lesson that I've taken from it is that so much can change. When you're struggling with personal demons, or living through a life change (like losing your job) it can seem like it will be bad forever, but the truth is, it won't be. You always have time to turn it around. Sometimes you need some lucky breaks and the support of a few key people, but it's always do-able. I also know that things will get bad again--life's like that--but when that happens, hopefully someone will remind me to read this post and remember that it will pass.

--TinFoil Out

Watch Dermott Tonight

I have it on good authority that Dermott the pug will do very well tonight in the Westminster Dog Show . He is the #1 pug of all time with 66 best in show wins, and he's considering retirement at the ripe old age of 5 1/2. Winning Westminster would be a perfect end to a great career. Tune in an cheer on Dermott (8:00pm on USA Network).

In other news. I have a new co-worker and (temporary) office-mate. She's perfectly nice, and I'm happy to show her the ropes, but I must say I've forgotten how annoying it is to share an office. It's only for a few weeks, though.