Oh, the irony . . .

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RCRG Bout 1 Recap

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath for my recap of the Rat City Rollergirls bout #1. The recap will probably not be as detailed as usual, as I made the mistake of sitting near the locker-room, which is a great, unobstructed view of the action--apparently the event staff and the mascots thought this too, since they stood in front of us for half the bout (shout out to Momma Cherry for making them sit down for a bit--but there's a special place in hell for Spike the Devil Dog--Someone needs to teach him to "sit"). Anyway, I won't make that mistake next time.

All bitching aside, of course the rollergirls were outstanding as always. All I can say is that the girls look pretty sharp for this early in the season, and although the scores were pretty lopsided in both bouts, I see more parity in the league this year. Some observations:

Sockit Wenches: The biggest surprise of the night had to be the Sockit Wenches' spank-down of the Throttle Rockets. Pia Mess picked up right where she left off last year--whipping by by the Throttle Rockets like they weren't even there, and I LOVE the almost-running-not-skating frenetic style of Miss Fortune. I also found myself thinking several times throughout the evening how big a blow it was to the Sockit Wenches to lose Drew Blood for much of last season--she's GOOD. The Sockit Wenches are going to cause serious problems for anyone who doesn't bring it hard this year. It they can use Jackie Hammer, Clobberin' Mame, and Shovey Chase effectively at blocker--it's going to be tough to beat them. They also pulled out a bit of little-known-rule trickey, when they took advantage of the once a game opportunity to switch the pivot and the jammer in the middle of a jam. I bet we'll be seeing more of that.

Sockit Wenches Trivia: I saw on the news the other night that one of the SW's fresh meat candidates (Hot Flash--#40 Something) is actually Miss Fortune's MOTHER. How freakin cool is that?

Throttle Rockets: I'm not to worried about the Throttle Rocket's long term prospects, and I stand by my prediction that we'll see TR and DLF in the finals this year again. TR was without the lovely and powerful Darth Skater, but their usual power jammers: Valtron 3000, Hurricane Lily, Astroglide (the list goes on an on) mostly came up empty. At least the announcers finally figured out that there are lots of sexual innuendos around Astroglide's name, though, which was refreshing and kept the bout interesting. As I mentioned there were some serious obstructed view moments for me so I could have just missed them, but where were Interplanet Janet and Dirty Little Secret? Possible rookie of the year candidate: Pris Toff.

Throttle Rockets' fashion notes:
Wins: Betty Ford Galaxy's two pairs of ripped up stockings, and the team's new star spangled warm-ups.

Loses: What's with the tank-toppy throttle rockets? Not a Judy Jetson dress in sight -- *sigh*

Grave Danger: Ok, I've been on the angry end of a few GD rollergirls for my frank comments about their not-goodness last year. This year, even though they got blown out by the DLF, I'm wondering if they could be 1000% tougher to beat once they get a chance to practice. Their "fresh meat" looks like rookie of the year material, and they are big, powerful girls. in warm ups I noticed that newbies Katrina Whip and Canuckle Sandwich, along with veterans Pam Opticon and Basket Casey (who is one of the top 5 defenders in the league), could provide a lot of air cover for the small but plucky jammers of GD. When they find the right combination to block for Femme Fatale, Bruise Lee, Tash-ya Around, etc--They'll be dangerous. Plus, Rollin' Bayou is a force to be reckoned with at jammer--she's my early favorite for rookie of the year.

Grave Danger advice of the week: Braid your hair. Lots of GD jammers have beautiful long locks. I didn't see for sure, but when Femme Fatale and an unidentified DLF staker got into it in the first half, I thought I saw some hair pulling. Best to braid.

DLF: What can I say that would add to the perfection that is DLF? Seriously, they were without Diva State, and they still cruised against a team that is much improved from last year. Burnett Down continues to play like the league MVP, jamming, playing perfect pivot, picking fights (I think Burnett and Basket Casey will be an interesting rivalry all year--kind of a Dennis Rodman v. Karl Malone thing). Kim Reaper and Hideous Braxley jammed well, and Kitty Kamikase laid some solid blocks. My girls are champions until someone takes it away (don't bet on it). Rookie of the year candidate: Ann R. Kissed (nice uniform btw).

DLF Trivia: I got a good look at Burnett Down's tattoo on her arm. You guessed it--it's a tribute to Roller Derby. Body modification--now that's dedication.

That's all til next time kiddies. TICKETS ARE ALREADY ON SALE FOR BOUT 2. Buy now.

--TinFoil Out

Politics?

Ok . . . I'd like to start this post by saying that when I log on to blogger . . . I invariably type "blooger" which invariably makes me laugh. I just thought you'd like to know :)

Anyway, on a less bloogery note (I just laughed again--pathetic really) you may have noticed that I haven't been engaging in the noble struggle to oust president Bush lately. The reasons for this are:

1. I think that everyone (ok most people) know he's full of shit now.
2. Even Republicans are trying to distance themselves from him.
3. It's not as much fun to point out the obvious

When he was up for re-election, and his approval numbers were above freezing, I thought that I needed to change some minds. Now, I'll leave it to the professionals here, here, here, here and here.

I reserve the right to resume the political stuff when the mid-term elections approach next year. For now, Mr. Bush, you're off the hook from me (although I will point out that these "straight talking" press conferences are a disaster--the man can't think on his feet people!)

--TinFoil Out

Roller Derby first bout may be sold out--Extra Tickets?

The online tickets for Saturday's RCRG bout are sold out. Their website says that some tickets may still be available by calling Concrete City Skate for in-person ticket sales at 206.782.6081. In case they are actually sold out . . . let me know if anyone has any extra tickets. I have a few friends who haven't gotten them yet.

Rat City Rollers . . .

I just got that . . .or did I? Are the Rat City Rollergirls making oblique references to the Bay City Rollers? Or is there just the odd coincidence of the string "--- CITY ROLLER" in their names? It pretty much doesn't matter because THEY'RE BACK! (No, not the Bay City Rollers), but next Saturday Night, The RCRG are back with a vengence. It's a new season, and everyone is 0-0. That is, of course, until the 2005 Champions DLF sends all the other teams to the gulag archipelago (but more on that when it actually happens. Obvious bias from sports writers is so unseemly).

Buy Tickets--March 25th--Magnuson Park Hangar 30.

I haven't seen how the lineups have changed for the coming year but look for some more balanced standings throughout the year. By the end of the year last year, everyone was playing at a pretty high level, and this year there's no learning curve. Hopefully, Grave Danger has drafted a few girls who are 6'9" 280lbs to make up for their smallishness, and similarly, I hope that the Sockit Wenches have found some consistent blocking to augment their inherent pluckiness. Still, DLF and the Throttle Rockets have to be the teams to beat. I'd love to see them repeat their epic battle in the finals last year. A lot of great personalities emerged last year, but Darth Skater v. Burnett Down has become a genuine rivalry.

Yay--Rollergirls are back!

--TinFoil Out

New Coffee Table

So, when my parents were in town we looked for some new furniture. We went to Macy's outlet and found a new coffee table on sale. We bought it, and this has (of course) caused a ripple effect that has made us re-evaluate the placement and effectiveness of our current furniture. Our first thought was "this is such a HUGE coffee table," but now we're warming up to it. Now we're headed down the end-table-new chair, etc. path.

Just thought you'd all like to know :)

--TinFoil Hat

Call girl update

I previously wrote about a strange situation in our neighborhood. For the past few months our house and our neighbors' house have occasionally been visited by surprised looking call girls. Today, I was on my way out to the store when a tall woman in a really short skirt and really high heels, walked up our driveway and asked "Are you Kevin?" I said no, and she quickly walked back to the car and drove away.

I left to go to the store and the car passed me as it came back, so I circled around got the license plate #. I find this all patently ridiculous, but the Jim Rockford in me just came out. The car then stopped, presumably to check the address and look for "Kevin's" house. I saw my neighbor outside, and screamed "Call girl!" at him. He said "Tall girl?" I said "CALL GIRL!" The amusing part is I have probably said ten words to the guy in two years, and now four of them are "Call girl" (x2)?

He ran over to the car and talked to the startled professional woman. She apparently wanted nothing to do with this situation, and she gave him "Kevin's" phone number. This should be over soon. Unless it's a payphone, I think the silly little prankster has made his last call. Someone owns this phone, and that's a pretty concrete lead. We just saw the Sheriff over at their place, and I'm anxious to hear how it comes out. My money's on some dumb neighbor kids. Anyone else care to speculate?

--TinFoil Out

Lost in Translation

I love jokes that result from bad translations. I was reading this post (via Boing Boing) and I started laughing so hard that I thought I would wake up Mikelle. It's a menu for a Japanese resturaunt that offers such delicious dishes as: "Fragrant bone in garlic with strange flavor" and "Ginger bumping milk (hot)."

For some reason, I find "bad translation" jokes irresistible. Trevor pointed out some great ones here, here, and here.

My favorite of all time was on the TV show News Radio, when Jimmy James (if you haven't seen the show, think of a less evil, bumbling Rupert Murdoch) writes a book called: Jimmy James: Capitalist Lion Tamer which is a total flop in the US, but the Japanese translation sells like crazy, prompting the publisher to issue an English version--translated back from the Japanese--which is now called Jimmy James: Macho Donkey Wrestler. The transcript of his first book talk is here. It's funnier when you see it, though . . . I'll see if I can find the video.

--TinFoil Out

Blogging to stand still

Ok . . . that headline made no sense. But I do feel like I've been running around an awful lot lately.

I conducted my first international conference call this evening--my manager said, "you can handle this one, right? "

Um--sure . . .

I left work, with plenty of time to run the call from home, got stuck in traffic on 405 forever, and made it home with 2 minutes to spare. I shut myself up in my home office, grabbed our wireless speakerphone, and got online.

All was well . . . "Hello Singapore . . . Hello Tokyo . . . Hello Beijing."

Status updates--action items--outstanding.

Then, the power goes out in Renton. Really. What are the odds? Of course, every phone we own, including the wireless speakerphone is an electricity dependant model, so I'm off the call.

Thank goodness for cell phones and 1-800 call in numbers. I was back on the phone in 2 minutes, and finished up the call. In the two hour blackout that followed I had a wonderful candlelight meal with the wife. When the power came back, I was back in email land. Technology is a harsh mistress and sometimes it's OK if she gives you a 2 hour break.

Not bad for my first full day with the new job. Meep.

--TinFoil Out

Second run with the Tablet PC

One of the advantages of working for a tech-savy university is that you generally get to try out cutting-edge technology. In 2002, I got one of the first-gen tablet PCs, and I put it through its paces. I noticed quickly that my handwriting was WAY TOO POOR to work with the tablet-pen thing, and I could find few opportunities to flip the LCD around and start working in tablet mode. Now, I'm faced with my second tablet (it doesn't seem that much has changed)--and I'm trying to see what works and what doesn't.

First, I will say that I like that it is super light (it has an external CD/DVD drive, so I guess that makes sense). But it seems like there really haven't been any innovations since 2002 (Although I will admit that they have hidden the stylus/pen so well that it took me a week to find it). The handwriting recognition is better, but still sucky. I have trouble believing that this tech wll lead to the next big thing but I guess you never know . . .

-TinFoil Out

Action!

The nice thing about Netflix is that you can rent some obscure videos that you'd never seek out in the video store. I especially like it for series television (We've seen all the HBO shows, Sopranos, Deadwood, Carnivale, Six Feet Under, etc. this way.) Mikelle found us a true jem the other day with Action. This hollywood-is-a-cesspit series follows Peter Dragon (Jay Mohr), a big-name producer as he makes a shitty movie called "Beverly Hills Gun Club" (the climax apparently involves slaughtering endangered animals) with the help of his hooker-turned-associate producer (Illeana Douglas). This is the most cynical and rauncy show I have ever seen--and apparently it ran on broadcast TV (Fox), and there are hilarious guest appearances by stars like Keanu Reeves and Selma Hyak.

I'll throw this on the pile of brilliant Fox shows that were cancelled (Firefly, Arrested Development, Family Guy). I wish it had run on HBO or Showtime--I think it would have fit better on a more "adult" network.

--TinFoil Out

Where do I want to go today?

So, it's FINALLY official. I start Monday in my new position at Microsoft. I've been a contractor there for the past year, and I was working for an onsite vendor for the eight months before that, but now, I'm proud to say, I actually work for Microsoft directly. The position is similar to my contract job (it's in the same department), but it will involve more responsiblilty, more autonomy, and more travel.

I'm really happy to have this opportunity. It seems like it's been ages since I had a job that wasn't in some way temporary (almost three years to be exact), and I'm looking forward to a little stability. Plus, I'm really excited about the possibilites. Our department develops college talent all around the world and I think there's plenty of room for interesting work in that area.

I'm off to celebrate with the dog, the cat, and the wife.

--Tinfoil Out