RCRG Bout 1 Recap

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath for my recap of the Rat City Rollergirls bout #1. The recap will probably not be as detailed as usual, as I made the mistake of sitting near the locker-room, which is a great, unobstructed view of the action--apparently the event staff and the mascots thought this too, since they stood in front of us for half the bout (shout out to Momma Cherry for making them sit down for a bit--but there's a special place in hell for Spike the Devil Dog--Someone needs to teach him to "sit"). Anyway, I won't make that mistake next time.

All bitching aside, of course the rollergirls were outstanding as always. All I can say is that the girls look pretty sharp for this early in the season, and although the scores were pretty lopsided in both bouts, I see more parity in the league this year. Some observations:

Sockit Wenches: The biggest surprise of the night had to be the Sockit Wenches' spank-down of the Throttle Rockets. Pia Mess picked up right where she left off last year--whipping by by the Throttle Rockets like they weren't even there, and I LOVE the almost-running-not-skating frenetic style of Miss Fortune. I also found myself thinking several times throughout the evening how big a blow it was to the Sockit Wenches to lose Drew Blood for much of last season--she's GOOD. The Sockit Wenches are going to cause serious problems for anyone who doesn't bring it hard this year. It they can use Jackie Hammer, Clobberin' Mame, and Shovey Chase effectively at blocker--it's going to be tough to beat them. They also pulled out a bit of little-known-rule trickey, when they took advantage of the once a game opportunity to switch the pivot and the jammer in the middle of a jam. I bet we'll be seeing more of that.

Sockit Wenches Trivia: I saw on the news the other night that one of the SW's fresh meat candidates (Hot Flash--#40 Something) is actually Miss Fortune's MOTHER. How freakin cool is that?

Throttle Rockets: I'm not to worried about the Throttle Rocket's long term prospects, and I stand by my prediction that we'll see TR and DLF in the finals this year again. TR was without the lovely and powerful Darth Skater, but their usual power jammers: Valtron 3000, Hurricane Lily, Astroglide (the list goes on an on) mostly came up empty. At least the announcers finally figured out that there are lots of sexual innuendos around Astroglide's name, though, which was refreshing and kept the bout interesting. As I mentioned there were some serious obstructed view moments for me so I could have just missed them, but where were Interplanet Janet and Dirty Little Secret? Possible rookie of the year candidate: Pris Toff.

Throttle Rockets' fashion notes:
Wins: Betty Ford Galaxy's two pairs of ripped up stockings, and the team's new star spangled warm-ups.

Loses: What's with the tank-toppy throttle rockets? Not a Judy Jetson dress in sight -- *sigh*

Grave Danger: Ok, I've been on the angry end of a few GD rollergirls for my frank comments about their not-goodness last year. This year, even though they got blown out by the DLF, I'm wondering if they could be 1000% tougher to beat once they get a chance to practice. Their "fresh meat" looks like rookie of the year material, and they are big, powerful girls. in warm ups I noticed that newbies Katrina Whip and Canuckle Sandwich, along with veterans Pam Opticon and Basket Casey (who is one of the top 5 defenders in the league), could provide a lot of air cover for the small but plucky jammers of GD. When they find the right combination to block for Femme Fatale, Bruise Lee, Tash-ya Around, etc--They'll be dangerous. Plus, Rollin' Bayou is a force to be reckoned with at jammer--she's my early favorite for rookie of the year.

Grave Danger advice of the week: Braid your hair. Lots of GD jammers have beautiful long locks. I didn't see for sure, but when Femme Fatale and an unidentified DLF staker got into it in the first half, I thought I saw some hair pulling. Best to braid.

DLF: What can I say that would add to the perfection that is DLF? Seriously, they were without Diva State, and they still cruised against a team that is much improved from last year. Burnett Down continues to play like the league MVP, jamming, playing perfect pivot, picking fights (I think Burnett and Basket Casey will be an interesting rivalry all year--kind of a Dennis Rodman v. Karl Malone thing). Kim Reaper and Hideous Braxley jammed well, and Kitty Kamikase laid some solid blocks. My girls are champions until someone takes it away (don't bet on it). Rookie of the year candidate: Ann R. Kissed (nice uniform btw).

DLF Trivia: I got a good look at Burnett Down's tattoo on her arm. You guessed it--it's a tribute to Roller Derby. Body modification--now that's dedication.

That's all til next time kiddies. TICKETS ARE ALREADY ON SALE FOR BOUT 2. Buy now.

--TinFoil Out